The Way To End It All
by kahlen369
Summary: The Firenation conquers the world and Aang dies. But the spirits send him back again to relive his life and find a way to stop the Firenation. However even after reliving his life over thirty times, he has still failed. FULL SUMMARY INSIDE.
1. Yet Again

Summary: Avatar AU. Peggy Sue fic. Aang has, through the help of the Spirits, travelled back in time again and again to try and stop the Fire Nation from conquering the world. Each time (including the very first), however, he fails. And he, along with his friends, die again and again. Only Aang can travel back in time—his friends can't. And everytime he must repeat his adventures with them-an emotionally breaking taks for Aang who must then experience their deaths over and over again.

After many cycles of revisiting his life, we have an Aang that is tired and simply wants it all to end. And finally, he has found a way to save the world. He must turn Azula good—and make her turn on her father (and murder him). This Aang, who holds a deep grudge against Azula for the numerous times she kills him and his friends does not want to do it at first. But fueled by a need to save the world, he has no choice. And so begins an elaborate act on Aang's part. He befriends Azula and even gets her to fall for him. Even though inside he harbors an intense hatred for her; and he still loves Katara in his heart.

Note: Aang does not retain his abilities, only his memories, since he is after all, born again and again--not just sent to his body at a certain age; meaning the whole timeline is repeated.

* * *

**Chapter One: A New Life**

* * *

"_Katara!!" Aang shouts as he watches his love die once more before his eyes. He sees her fall to the ground; felled by a large amount of blue flames. He turns toward her killer with anger in his eyes._

_Azula laughs a cruel evil laugh as she begins the sequence of katas that will end his life yet again. He doesn't bother to fight back. He knows that this life is a failure as well, and he leaves the world with blue in his eyes, and defeated weariness in his heart. _

* * *

"Aang, how about a game of Pai Sho?" Monk Gyatso smiled as he asked his young charge.

Aang gave a small, slightly rueful, smile and nodded, "Sure, sounds fun." He smiled a bit wider as he sat down across his friend.

In the dozens of times he relived his life, he had managed to accumulate almost a hundred years of time with his old friend, Gyatso. It was one of the few good things about having to relive his life. Though more often than not it was overshadowed by the very, very bad thing of having to relive his death as well.

He remembered the first time he relived his life. He was so optimistic, then. He thought it was second chance—his chance to make everything better. He was a fool, then. He tried to undo _all_ of his mistake; which only ended up creating _more_ mistakes; which ended up ending his life earlier. Because the first mistake he tried to fix was running away from the Air Temple. He had stayed to fight the Fire Nation invaders, that first time. And he, along with the rest of the airbenders, had lost miserably. He was only an airbender, then—not yet a fully realized avatar. He did not have the power to defeat the invaders. And so, for that first life, he ended up making the world worse.

So, after many more failed lives wherein he tried to desperately train to become strong enough to save his people from extinction; he simply gave up. That was when he had begun to lose his childish idealism and became more realistic (or some might say, cynical).

"I win," Aang said with a cheeky grin on his face. This was one of the few upsides about having lived over a hundred years (total).

He could finally beat his old friend at Pai Sho.

"Looks like you lose yet again." Aang grinned as he leaned back casually, trying to fully enjoy what precious little time he had with his friend.

"That's because you learn from the best." Monk Gyatso gave a slight chuckle as he prepared the board for another game.

Aang smiled a peaceful smile as helped his friend set up. Eventually, he had learned to simply appreciate the little time he had with his old master and friend, as well as his people. Even though it hurt to have them all taken away from him time and time again, he realized from moments like these, that he would greatly regret it if he simply stopped caring about them. Something he did after the first few failed lives he had been so _distraught _after having experienced his old friend dying yet again and again that he ended up deciding it would be better to have not befriended him at all.

But he realized that it was a moot point, since he still had all his old memories anyway; and even if he wasn't his friend in that life—he would still be his friend in his memory. So he decided to simply try to make the most out of the little time he had with his old friend and to enjoy it while it lasted.

"You act far too old for your age," Monk Gyatso said suddenly. He looked Aang straight in the eye with an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face. Aang cast his face downwards, unable to face his old friend.

"Just because you're the Avatar doesn't mean you have to act like you're a thousand years old—which is actually your real age now that I think about it…" And his face turned into one of mock confusion (which made Aang briefly chuckle inside; Gyatso was always like that) before becoming serious again,

"You may be the Avatar but you're also Aang—a twelve year old boy. You aren't your past lives, Aang." He gave a brief pause before continuing, "And you don't have the weight of the world on your shoulders, no matter what you may think."

Finally, Aang looked his friend in the eye with an equally serious expression, and a look in his eyes that made Gyatso think for a moment that he was channeling his past lives (in a way similar to the Avatar state); for that was how old he looked at the moment. Over thousands of years old, not twelve years old. He had looked simply tired and weary.

"But that's the truth, isn't it? It's up to me to _save the world_." His voice was flat but had a bitter edge to it, "I _do_ have the weight of the world on my shoulders. The lives of countless people are in my hands."

Monk Gyatso stared sadly at his young friend. He was far too young to have to be burdened with such a fate. "I'm sorry, Aang. But that is the fate of the Avatar."

Aang nodded in a combination of defeat and understanding. Something which only made Gyatso feel worse. He wished his young friend wouldn't act so mature, so _old_. He was far too young, Gyatso thought sadly.

"I was not lying when I said you don't have the weight of the world on your shoulders," Aang was about to retort when Gyatso held up a hand to silence him, "Let me clarify, you don't have the weight on _only _your shoulders." Gyatso smiled warmly as he said, "I am here to help carry the weight, Aang."

Gyatso only wished he could do more for his young friend.

Aang bit back tears as he gave his friend a tight hug. His tears were for an altogether different reason than the one Gyatso suspected. He was grateful, but not for the reasons his friend thought. Because Aang knew, in only a few more weeks, that he really would have to carry all the weight on his own.

* * *

A/N: In case the above is too vague, Aang is referring to the invasion where Monk Gyatso will be killed. And if your asking why the difference from canon? Because this Aang is different from canon, and thus different events are in order.

Note:There will be a very major divergence point much later on. I will be splitting it into two stories that have drastically different results. Those two stories will be 'sequels' to this one. One of the differences between the two is the OTP for each. In the first, it will be AangxAzula and KataraxZuko (which will be explored in another sequel) with AangxKatara as the other pairing. The second, will have AangxKatara and Azulax(undecided, if any) as the OTP. But these will happen much much later on, so feel free to ignore this right now.


	2. Unavoidable Things

A/N: The going's going to be pretty slow; and the pairing won't actually show up until much later, so sorry in advance for that.

note: I'm not sure if any of you noticed the slight 'plot hole'--or for you tropers out there, 'fridge logic' moment--in the first chapter. I'm referring to how Aang says that the Airbenders, along with him, were wiped out even though he, the Avatar, who had access to the Avatar state, was there. Let me respond by citing the canon's own fridge logic. The Gaang are all desperately trying to train Aang to master all the four elements before the return of Sozin's comet so Aang will be able to defeat Ozai. But as shown by the season finale, all his training was uneeded--he simply used the Avatar State to beat Ozai (who had the help of Sozin's Comet). So let's just use our 'suspension of disbelief' and like with the show disregard logic in favor of plot and drama.

* * *

**Chapter Two: The Storm**

* * *

_"I'll always be here for you Aang," Monk Gyatso said to his young friend as they finally broke the hug. He smiled warmly as clasped his hand on Aang's shoulder; a fatherly show of __affection that did not fail to defrost Aang's lately frozen heart (which was that way from all the things he had to experience--death, war, loss--again and again)._

_Aang had to keep the lump in his throat from rising as he stared at his old friend. He wished he could help him. He wished he could stop it. _

_"I'll always be here for you..."_

_He wished it were true._

_"I'll always be here for you....."_

* * *

Aang inwardly sighed as called for his bison, Appa. He always hated reliving this event. Staring out into the sky, he could see the dark clouds forming; a storm was coming.

"Yipyip," he called to his bison as he gripped the reigns tighter. It was not an easy task to have to experience the destruction of people over and over again. He had failed them, as an Avatar and as a fellow airbender yet again. The fact that said people, particularly his similarly aged playmates, treated him in a way that was less than desirable was a moot point.

The fact that Aang had sat under one of the shaded trees watching at his playmates with a slightly forlorn look in his eyes thinking, _children can be so cruel,_ more than once was no reason to take pleasure in their deaths. They were still his people, after all. Though Aang had to admit that the pain of losing his people was nothing but a simple irritation compared to the unimaginable loss he felt every time his friend and mentor, Monk Gyatso, had to die.

And while _all_ the deaths Aang had to face (even the ones of strangers and enemies) were bad, the death of even _one_ of his friends and precious people were, truth be told, a million times worse than the deaths of a_ hundred_ strangers (or a thousand enemies; because Aang was not a saint). It was the truth and it was what motivated him in every one of his lives. The need to prevent another death of one his precious people was often what kept him from never giving up on his quest to defeat the seemingly undefeatable Firenation.

It was the reason, Aang suspected, that the spirits told—no_ forced_—him to befriend them all every time; to ensure that he would always try his best each time. It wasn't without its merit either. Because Aang had to admit that were not the death of his friends always looming over his head, he had a feeling he would've given up far sooner; there is only so much of life, particularly death, war and pain, that any one person can take—even if one is the Avatar.

The incomparable heart wrenching pain he felt whenever his love, Katara had to die, yet again by the hands of either Azula or her father Ozai (one occasion had Zhao as the killer and another, very, very horrible life had_ him_ as the accidental killer during the Avatar state --which was a main reason why he only ever used the Avatar state very, very sparingly under extreme circumstances these days) was a very motivating factor for Aang. The horrible feeling of loss every time he saw Katara fall to death was what filled his heart with the will to stop the Firenation from conquering once and for all. He had to admit the Spirits certainly knew him and his motivations well.

His subsequent sigh held more than a touch of irritation. He wished the Spirits didn't know him so well; it wasn't good for his heart.

The thunder was roaring and he could see lightning flashing in the distance. He was about a hundred meters away from the spot where he would almost drown and end up trapped in the iceberg.

Once again he lamented his inability to save his old friend, Monk Gyatso. Unlike the rest of his friends, he could simply not be saved no matter what. He _had_ to die. Aang knew that it was more than fair, really. His friend had lived well over a hundred years and had a very fruitful life. So it was little more than nature taking its course that he had to die. Not that it stopped the pain. No, his inability to save his master and his people would always be painful.

_"I'll always be here for you..."_

He could still hear his old friend's voice in his head. It haunted him like a stubborn ghost in the night. Digging its claws into the deepest reccesses of Aang's heart whenever he least expected it. Aang knew he would never, ever forget it. Not for as long as he lived; which sadly for him, he thought a bit bitterly, was a very long time indeed.

He sighed inwardly as he and Appa fell into the raging waters. Appa fought back as best as he could but Aang did not bother to fight back. Instead, he gripped the reigns as tight as he could as they were dragged further underwater. He was calm and focused, if somewhat defeated, as he, along with his bison, slowly lost consciousness. Seconds later, glowing arrows appeared over his head, arms and legs as he waterbended a lifesaving iceberg around himself.

He would have a hundred years of rest before would have to relive his life yet again. And as Aang experienced the sweet peace of non-quite-eternal sleep, he inwardly wished that he could simply stay like this forever.

* * *

A/N: Next chapter will have Aang reuniting (unbeknownst to them) with Katara and Sokka (who are once more meeting Aang for the first time). It will be, in some ways, just a rehash of canon in certain parts, as certain parts _need_ to happen the same way as canon, so bear with me. But there will be major differences as a large portion, as with these two chapters, will be Aang's thoughts. So it will definitely not be like you;re simply rewatching the show on paper (metaphorically, anyway).


	3. Start Again

A/N: Sorry this took a while. I had to keep looking up canon in certain parts (which is timeconsuming_ and_ annoying). Real life also had a habit of interrupting. But, finally, as a New year's Gift; here is the next chapter! :D

* * *

**Chapter Three: The Boy in the Iceberg**

_

* * *

_

_"I love you too, Aang…" Katara whispered softly as she leaned in closer to Aang._

_She kissed him lightly, but tenderly on the lips. They held the sweet embrace for a few moments before pulling apart. As she pulled back, she had a warm smile on her face; so full of love, so full of hope. _

_Aang couldn't help but feel sad and happy at the same time as he stared at his one true love. _

_"I love you, forever and always, Katara."_

* * *

Once more, Aang woke up to the face of his beautiful Katara. Aang couldn't help but smile with the same mixed happiness and sadness as he took in her face, still so young and full of innocence; unscarred by the horrors of war and life.

"Hello," He found himself saying as he used his airbending to set himself upright. "I'm Aang." He tried to give the cheeriest grin he could muster as he said it.

He usually avoided asking her to go penguin sledding like he did the very first time. It only brought up memories of more innocent days, and since it served no real purpose and had no untoward effects on his life, he usually chose to simply omit it completely in his relives.

Quickly climbing over the ice with the agility of only an airbender, he made his way over to his still asleep bison. After waking him up, Aang on instinct ducked. While he could change his actions every time he relived his lives, Appa, and many others unless influenced, could not. And thus, Sokka was yet again covered in Appa's slime.

"So your name is Aang?" Katara asked, ignoring his brother who was now writhing on the floor, trying to get rid of the green goo. Aang nodded and she made her own (unneeded, unbeknownst to them) introductions, "I'm Katara and this is my brother Sokka."

"Don't talk to him, Katara!" Sokka was now standing up and without any goop. "He's probably a Fire Nation spy! Did you see that bolt of lightning a while ago? He was probably trying to signal the rest of his crew!" he waved his hand up in the air in an attempt to convince her.

"You're just being paranoid! Does he look like a Fire Nation spy to you?!" She responded, a bit exasperatedly.

And as they both turned to stare at him, Aang realized that his face wasn't quite as innocent as it used to be and decided to distract them with what was supposed to happen next. Because while he could leave out the rather gratuitous penguin sledding, he had found that his sneeze was a bit more important as it served to demonstrate his airbending ability. He also found, however that as long as he managed to demonstrate his airbending ability, he need not sneeze every time.

This time he found himself sneezing anyway; perhaps as a sort of sentimental homage to his more innocent past self. It gave his heart an odd sort of feeling every time he had to relive the earlier stages of his life. It was a feeling of great sorrow mixed with great joy. After seeing his friends with the bitter and jaded eyes of someone having experienced war, it was a very odd feeling to have to see the same eyes so full of innocence and hope again.

He felt the cold, arctic breeze sweep across his face as he jumped over twenty feet in the air from the sneeze. Perhaps he exaggerated it a bit—even more than the very first time, but it was half the fun. Getting a chance to, in a way, regain one's (lost) innocence was not something given to everybody. So Aang often reveled in the chance to be a kid again (literally).

"You must be an airbender!" Katara gave a small gasp of surprise while Sokka seemed annoyed (he was once again being ignored).

"Sure am." Aang nodded his consent as Sokka went on a long-winded spiel—that was more of a rant--against 'magic' until he stopped and eventually realized he was going nowhere.

So Aang, like always (he found this event to be pretty constant), he offered to use Appa. And after a few moments of ensuing fighting between the two siblings, they made their way to the Southern Water Tribe.

And as they floated on Appa (he gave a half-hearted attempt to get him to fly but knew it was no use), Aang couldn't help but think about Zuko and how he was probably on his way to capture him right this second.

Over the (accumulated) years he had managed to find a good friend in Zuko. After his heel-faced-turn in the later stages of his life, he was actually a pretty good guy. Oftentimes Aang tried to shorten the period it took to get to Zuko's side; but he knew it was of little use. The path that made him change was a long and hard one; it was one that only he could take, and one no one else--not even the Avatar—could influence him on. In fact, Aang found that the more he tried to get him to his side the less inclined he was to do it; a mistake he made in one of his earlier relives.

"Did you know the Avatar?" Katara asked from the saddle. "He was supposed to be an airbender."

In his very first life, he had lied to her, unwilling to take the huge responsibility that being Avatar meant. Every other relive, however, he realized all too well that he didn't have a choice in the matter. So he just told her the truth immediately.

"…I'm the Avatar." He said it softly. Looking into her deep blue eyes, reliving the early days of their love (still unbeknownst to her), he felt younger than he did in ages. And he felt the weight of being Avatar now, more so than ever. And he felt so old…

Katara's eyes widened and even Sokka was looking shocked.

"Y-you?" Katara stuttered while Sokka looked like a fish out of water with his mouth hanging wide open.

"I was trapped in the iceberg… for a hundred years." Aang began to explain in a mechanically factual tone. "I've only mastered airbending. I can't do any of the other elements." And in a purposely casual manner he asked, "Are there any waterbending masters here? I'll need to master it first."

The two still looked too shocked to say anything, but Katara to her credit, eventually (albeit shakily) answered, "Um… There aren't any waterbending masters here. In fact, I'm the only waterbender in the whole South Pole." She said the last part with a definite hint of pride, to which Sokka scoffed and mutter something about 'magic water'.

"Do you know where we can find any…?" Aang trailed off, though he knew the answer; he wasn't supposed to all-knowing, after all—even if he _was_ the Avatar.

"I'm sure there are plenty of waterbending masters in our sister tribe—the Northern Water Tribe!" Katara exclaimed enthusiastically before Sokka cut in, "But they're all the way on the _other side of the world!!_" He threw up his arms in exasperation and shook his head as if he were the only sensible person on the planet.

"Appa can take us there." I said (to Sokka's obvious chagrin, and to Katara's delight).

"Rigggght—he'll 'fly' us there! _Sure_." He said sarcastically as he muttered some more about 'magic' and 'being the only sane person'.

"Good, it's decided then." Katara clapped her hands in finality, purposely taking Sokka's sarcasm seriously. He stared incredulously at her for a second before setting his mouth into a frown.

"You know, GranGran's never going to let you go." He said stubbornly as he crossed his arms across his chest.

* * *

"_You're letting her go?!_" Sokka shouted in disbelief as Katara smiled smugly at him. "Why are you letting her go??"

"You're going too, young man." GranGran added sternly.

"WHAT??!!" Sokka shouted incredulously and Katara stared openmouthed in shock.

"It is your fate to help the Avatar. You both found him in that iceberg, and now you must both help him in his quest to save the world." She explained seriously. Sokka shook his head disbelievingly, but resignedly. Katara looked happy once more, having gotten over the initial surprise of having her brother travel with her.

Aang had found that while the old was initially skeptical, once she confirmed his identity as the Avatar (through Airbending); she was very supportive to the Avatar's cause. Aang figured that the old woman had said something similar to the Water Tribe siblings the first time (which he wasn't there to hear, and never bothered to ask). He was very grateful to the old woman; in more ways than one (he knew that in many of his lives, she had sacrificed her life for him, sometimes directly, sometimes indirectly as a result of being a war victim).

"Thank you." Aang gave a short but respectful bow toward the old woman to which she nodded in acknowledgement.

"When are you leaving?" The old woman turned to Aang and asked in a courteous tone that was both cold and warm at the same time. No doubt, she was thinking about how I've been away these last 100 years, while at the same time thinking I'm finally back, Aang thought a bit cynically. The fact that her only grandchildren were now leaving her on a life-threatening adventure (which would threaten their lives and ultimately end them, Aang thought sadly) for an unknown period of time probably added to the misaimed animosity.

"Tomorrow morning." He answered in the same polite tone, but without the emotional undertones. Aang had enough years of practice to be able to do that (though not in front of her, Aang thought wryly).

Zuko would be coming later this afternoon, but they didn't need to know that, Aang thought silently. He would stay and fight the banished prince--and he'd get himself kidnapped on purpose. He found that it was the only way to leave the village intact and unharmed.

"That early?!" Sokka groaned as he slapped a hand to his forehead.

"I can't wait to learn waterbending!" Katara practically shouted, enthusiastically. She grinned as she looked in Aang's direction and gave him a thumbs up, completely ignoring her still complaining brother.

He smiled warmly as he took in both their familiar sights. Sokka, muttering and being his usual crazy self, and Katara eyes shining with hope and passion. He allowed himself a few moments to drink them in. It was nice being able to enjoy such moments of (relative; he thought of loud, boisterous Sokka) peace, even if short lived.

And as he stood there, in the frigid South Pole, gearing up to start his adventure once more, Aang thought silently as he looked in the direction of his one true love,

_"I love you, Katara, always and forever." _

_

* * *

_

A/N: next chapter will be Zuko's battle, Katara and Sokka's rescue--essentially the second episode.

Don't complain about how this is different form canon because this is an AU. The reason they are different is explained in the chapter itself.

As for why they don't go to that Fire Navy ship, I ask you: Why? It serves little purpose for the story especially in this setting. (I will expand further on this in the next chapter, so don't worry)

Oh, and the reason she says 'I love you, too' there instead of her real answer in canon, which was 'I'm confused right now' is because canon Aang and this AU Aang are very different people. This AU is more decisive, etc. Will be further explained in-story later on.


	4. New Purpose

A/N: Okay, I realize I promised Aang's fight with Zuko this chapter, but it didn't work out that way. Instead we have a bit more development on Zuko and on Katara, etc. It's for the pacing! I promise that next chapter will really be the fight.

This will probably be my last update for a while, since today is the last day of chirstmas break. Once school starts i won't have as much free time any more. I'll try to update once a week but it'll probably end up more like once every two weeks. I promise it won't be dead fic though!

Oh, and sorry for the length of this fic. I was trying to keep a steady length but well... things didn't work out. Please bear with me. ^^;

* * *

**Chapter Four: For Moments of Peace**

* * *

_"What's wrong?" Katara whispered softly as her hands gently ran through his hair. She had him locked in a tight embrace (she knew than it was one of the only things she could do to help him). _

_"I wish that we could have more moments like these," Aang replied ruefully."Moments of peace."_

_"We will, Aang," Katara loosened the embrace slightly to stare him straight in the eye. "We will." _

_The meaning behind her words was all too clear to Aang. He could not tune out the conviction, the hope in her voice—in him. _

_Aang turned his head away from her; he could not bear to look at her; he could not bear to have her trust in him broken. _

_Because all he saw was her dead and bloodied corpse; lifeless and unmoving._

_"We will, Aang." She repeated. _

_If only it were true._

* * *

Aang stared at out into the horizon, expecting anytime the approach of a Fire Nation ship. It would be coming soon, Aang knew. Even without the signal that came from the Fire Nation ship trap (that Aang pointedly never visited again in his relives for obvious reasons) Zuko and his ship still managed to somehow, every time, find the small village.

"What are looking at?" Katara asked curiously as stood next to him.

"Nothing," Aang replied, and after sparing one last glance at the still clear sky, turned to face Katara. "I was just enjoying the beautiful scenery." He gave a large grin to highlight the fact--and hide his growing anxiety.

Because for a variety of reasons, he didn't particularly enjoy having to fight with his nemesis-turned-friend Zuko who would now be a nemesis again. It was hard had to fight him seriously again after becoming his friend. It hurt him every time he had to fight--and ultimately, defeat--him.

In was so hard for him that it had been a driving force in his first few relives. He had wanted to turn Zuko into his friend far earlier than the first time so he wouldn't have to fight him anymore. Unfortunately, his attempts to convert him only made things worse. One life had him succeed in killing him, and another had it vice versa, with him having to kill Zuko.

Fortunately, or unfortunately, it became far easier to resist repeating his mistakes after simply imagining the sight of Zuko's dead body by his hands. It was one of the harder lessons he had to learn in his relives, and one that proved to still be hard to swallow. He sighed inwardly as he imagined the ensuing fight that would be sure to happen later on. He was very much not looking forward to it, and rather dreaded its happening.

In an attempt to distract himself, he tried to start up conversation with Katara.

"Where's Sokka?" He knew the answer already, of course, but since his position often changed slightly with each relive, the answer would not always be exactly the same.

"Probably off playing 'soldier'—I mean '_commander'_--to his 'troops'." She scoffed at her Sokka's (not unreasonable) antics and Aang laughed at her brother's expense for a few moments.

The laughter died a bit too quickly for Aang's liking (he could feel the dread creeping back in) when Katara turned serious.

"Even though I laugh at him for it, it's not such a bad idea," She admitted a bit shamefacedly, "The kids will need to know how to defend themselves—though Sokka's methods are less than successful or helpful—especially now that we'll be gone." She had added the last part without thinking, and was immediately regretting it afterwards. She hadn't meant to burden Aang with her Tribe's problems (even though it was technically his job as the Avatar) particularly since _he_ was the source of the problem.

"I-I'm sorry, Aang. I didn't mean for it to come out like that!" Katara flushed as she hastily apologized. 'i'm sorry..."

"It's okay, Katara." he held up his hand to stop her, "It is my fault that you have to leave your village, and leave it—even more--defenseless. I am prepared to accept the consequences of that action." Katara seemed unsure of what to say, and Aang continued on uninterrupted, "In fact, _I_ am the one who should be apologizing."

He lowered himself onto the ground and bowed low; a customary act (that was rarely done these days) which symbolized begging for forgiveness.

"I-I'm sorry." His voice broke with emotion as he said it. Unknown to Katara, it was an apology for more than simply 'making' her leave her village. It was an apology for far more; it was for all the times she had to die (for him); for all the pain she had to endure in all her repeated lives (for him); for the truth that he could never tell; for the numerous times he almost gived up; for the times he really did; and for the fact that he loved her too much to (ever) let her go. He was apologizing for all his sins toward her, her past selves, and her future selves. He was begging for forgiveness from someone who did not—could not understand; once again because of him.

"I'm sorry." He repeated with the same grief as Katara wrapped her arms around his trembling body; tentatively at first but with growing sureness (for here was a boy who for one reason or another, confusing or not, needed her).

"It's okay, Aang," she cooed softly into his ear as she held him (not realizing the ironic echo). "I forgive you."

Aang felt the tears slide down his cheeks as lay in Katara's comforting arms. It was a familiar gesture; one she often made in the times when they were already lovers. The difference in context was not lost even on a grief-stricken Aang, and he consciously withheld himself from kissing her. He did not—could not--withhold himself from hugging her back, however. He needed its comfort far too much at the moment. Though it was still painfully clear to him that the hug was nothing more than a friendly hug (something that only added to his grief).

He wasn't aware how long he stayed in Katara's arms, or how long she stayed in his. Just that by the time they broke apart, he was feeling fully drained. He was no longer filled with the horrible grief and guilt (he realized afterwards that there was some for Zuko as well as Katara). He could still feel the sting of the grief and guilt in his heart (he knew it would never fully go away), but it was no longer as strong or as suffocating.

"Are you sure you're okay now?" Katara asked concernedly as Aang wiped away the last of his tears with the back of his hand.

"I'm okay now, Katara." He smiled at her to prove his point but she still seemed unsure. "Don't worry about me. I'll be fine." He added and when she still looked uncertain he gave small smile before suggesting, "Maybe you should go talk to Sokka? I'm sure he could use some help with his 'troops'."

The not so subtle suggestion for Katara to leave him alone was not lost on her. And understanding he needed time to be on his own, she conceded (albeit reluctantly).

"I'll talk to you later." She said as a way of goodbye before turning and leaving him.

"See you." He called at her departing back before turning back to watch the horizon for any approaching ships.

* * *

Katara was feeling conflicted. The young boy that she found trapped in the iceberg; that turned out to be the long lost and thought to be dead Avatar was the source of said conflict.

By appearance he was only twelve years old, though in actuality he was really a _hundred_ and twelve years old. But that wasn't the problem. The problem was that he acted more like the latter than the former.

She could see it in his eyes.

Pain, grief, guilt, regret, shame, weariness were all present in his grey eyes. They were the eyes of an old man who has lived many, many years. Which was impossible. Because technicality notwithstanding, he was in every way a twelve year old boy.

Katara reasoned that it probably had something to do with the fact that he was the Avatar--meaning he was a reincarnation of a spirit with hundreds of years of experience—and easily dismissed away any suspicions otherwise.

She conveniently ignored the part wherein a reincarnated soul has no memories of his past lives.

* * *

By the time Zuko's ship had arrived, Aang had managed to prepare himself as best as he could. He was no longer feeling the dreaded anxiety of a few hours ago, but the eerie calm of an experienced warrior going into war once more (though he understood that this time, at least, he had to lose on purpose).

The talk (if it could really be callled a talk) had brought him a new sense of peace; and with it a new (or rather, _re_newed) sense of purpose.

He would not fail again. He would not fail _her_ again.

This time, no matter what it took, he would end the war once and for all.

"And we will have our moments of peace." He told himself.

* * *

A/N:


End file.
